A little something about Vernon
by momin.shahab
Summary: A small series of oneshots about vernons past explaining some slightly important details not really mentioned in the books ,like perhaps why he hates magic so much or how he ever even came up with that dreadful letter bombs joke in book one
1. Chapter 1

Has anyone ever wondered why Vernon hates magic so much. Well I thought about it and the conclusion was this story. Hope you like it (my first ever one shot by the way)

** Line break**

Vernon Dursley was a completely ordinary fourteen year old boy. Other than his unusually large size that set him apart from all the other children in the neighbourhood. Although there was one detail that seperated him from the others. Vernon Dursley was a bully.

Just last week he was telling all of his friends how he had taken some poor kids lunch money you were to hear him tell this story it almost sounded as if he was bragging."Just took it out of his hands ,he couldn't do a thing",laughed Vernon when recounting the event like this would happen all the time and it seemed like every week he had a new story to tell. None of the adults ever heard about this,who would dare tell on the biggest kid in the neighbourhood.

That is why it came as no surprise to anyone when he decided to try and pick on the new kid who had just moved into the neighbourhood. Being slightly skinny and completely friendless made him the perfect target. Vernon being extremely bored during his summer holidays and having absolutely nothing to do thought it would be a good idea to show this new kid who's boss, he got an opportunity to do this one Monday morning when he saw that there were no adults around and the kid was walking around all alone.

"So what's your name then", said Vernon trying to start a conversation where he could mock this poor twelve year old."Lucius malfoy",said the kid in very confident tone. "What sort of ruddy name is Malfoy" said Vernon attempting to mock Lucius not realising what a touchy subject this was for young Lucius. He started to chuckle at his own attempted humor and opened his mouth to try and mock him even further ,he didn't even notice lucius muttering a hex and pointing a strange looking stick at him. Vernons laughter was cut short when he saw the flash of yellow light.

All of a sudden his arms snapped to his side and his feet were firmly joint together against his will. You could see fear in the obese fourteen year olds eyes as he fell to the found much like a falling tree. A large grin spread over lucius's face as he walked towards the fallen bully who surprisingly hadn't started rolling yet (probably because the ground was completely flat, Malfoy later told his classmates). Malfoy twirled his wand in his hands and whispered five words into vernons ear "never mess with a wizard", then walked off towards his house occasionally looking back to make sure nobody had seen him.

This memory was later removed from Vernon's mind but there was always this voice in the back of his head that told him how dangerous abnormality was,it was after this day that Vernon immediately disliked anything even slightly odd or strange and never went to a magic show ever again.

**If you liked/hated my story please let me know by reviewing.i am open to all suggestions andwould love your feedback**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I said I wouldn't write another chapter but I couldn't help myself. Once again the inspiration for this camefrom retreading book one for the seventh time (poetic huh?)**

It was just another day for Vernon Dursley. Sitting at the ice cream parlor which was located very conveniantly close to his house. He was having a very large and sugary chocolate Sunday that day, his appearance obviously not on his mind when one surprisingly brilliant (by his standards) idea popped into his head. He hadn't tormented anyone for a very long time and this seemed like an ideal moment to get back at it .

He hadn't beaten up or caused any harm to his twelve year old neighbour Bobby Williams for quite some time now and as he recalled Bobby would always get the mail for his parents. Vernon though would scoff at the idea of getting the mail himself and never did too.

It was the next Monday morning when he put his plan into action. It very just after the mailman had delivered the mail that he slowly crept upto the Williams mailbox on his tip toes not realising how completely ridiculous he looked. A bit like a whale doing ballet as a passer by would describe it. He quickly opened the mailbox and threw three bright green pellets inside, then ran away fleeing the scene to make sure no adult would see him near the now booby trapped mailbox.

He ran towards his own lawn and tried to act natural waiting for unsuspecting Bobby to come and get the mail. He did this by attempting to whistle a tune and then realised that he didn't know how to whistle at all, instead the only sound he made was the one you'd hear if you sat of a wet woupie coushen. He made a mental note to learn how to whistle thinking about how this would help him some day. That was when bobby finally stepped outside to get the mail. As soon as he opened the mail box a green gas hit him in the face and then proceeded to spread everywhere.

Vernon broke down laughing at his own practical joke. When a joke (a terrible one ) popped into his head .

"What are you doing Williams? Checking for letter bombs!" he blurted out rather ungracefully and then began laughing at his own terrible joke.

"I'm going to use that someday" he said to himself as he attempted towhistle again and walked inside his house


End file.
